Today has been OK

I often think of this song at the end of a day.

It makes me think of my mom. I'm sure it makes anyone think of someone they have loved and lost.

I especially like the line that says, "No one's gone in vain...life has been insane but today has been ok."

Somehow I find it comforting that life is insane for all of us, and that we can all only count on the same small things, like that today will be OK.

Even though I did not get to know my mom so well because I was only eight when she died, she is with me all the time. I feel like I get to know her better, being a mom.

I think of her and wonder what she would do in a situation I'm in or even talk it out with her. Sometimes an interaction between me and E-man reminds me of my mom and me.

Lately, I have had a real struggle getting E-man to sleep at a decent hour. He tends to go to sleep around 2am on average and get up around 10 or 11. I've let it get to this, knowing I need to do something about it, but either feeling too tired to get up and wake him up early so he'll go to bed early, or looking at him all sleepy and sweet looking and think, "Great, I can finally get something done."

Well last night I decided that no matter what time he went to bed, today was going to be the day that I made an effort towards putting him on a schedule. I would start by waking him up at 9am.

As usual, he did not go to sleep last night 'till about 2:30 am. But this morning, I stuck to my guns, went in there and said, "E-man, it's time to wake up."

Usually he wakes up on his own, runs into my arms, cuddles for about 10 minutes and then eats some breakfast. This morning he was laying on the couch all groggy, trying to go back to sleep, and I was sitting next to him.

I finally got him to sit up. So he's sitting there, rubbing his eyes and I'm sitting there looking at him, willing myself to get through the day and thinking how cute he looks rubbing his eyes. My little guy is growing up so fast.

These are the thoughts that are going through my head and then I remember a picture of my mom and me. She is sitting on the couch next to me looking at me and I am rubbing my eyes. For the longest time, I thought that my mom looked very angry in that picture. That was until I became a mom.

Now I think that my mom is either thinking, "What do I do with you?" as I often say to E-man or she is just really tired from being a mom and it is showing in her face. She looks like a mother, thinking motherly thoughts. And now I am the mother in the picture.