Oh What a Day!

Have you ever gone walking through the mall with your terrible two year old and had a scout walk up to you and ask you if you've ever thought about having him model, and because you were already regretting that $10 toy that will break as soon as you get home, which you were conned into buying him to delay an inevitable temper tantrum, you are struck with a little flattery but mostly the thought that this little rascal should start earning his keep, so you temporarily loose your noggin, forget to ask the most obvious question(s) and sign him up for an "audition"?

I have one word for you. "Don't!" If you need more info, just click here and read some of the consumer reports.

No, I did not pay them any money. I am not THAT naive.

I just spent an entire day trekking my son through 33-43 MPH winds to Long Island, then sitting in a dingy waiting room with about 50 other mall walkers and their kids of every age in a room that smelled like throw-up only to be asked for $1200, then told that I could have a discount and only pay $300 because my kid has the kind of looks that are high in demand.

The lady that gave me the sales pitch, looked like she was probably an applicant on America's Next Top Model 10 years ago and has spent her time since then sniffing coke and has added on a layer of makeup every time she has sniffed for the past 10 years and never taken any of it off.

When I replied that I could not pay any money whatsoever, she apparently gave me the standard reply, that they only do casting once a year, but then said if I needed 6 months to come up with the money, of course they could make an exception for me because what's that, oh yes my kid has looks that are high in demand.

On the way home, I had a moment of extreme anger at myself, at the world, at everything as I stood there in the wind (which you really feel when you're standing in an open place about 4-6 stories off the ground), trying to wrap my coat around my shivering toddler.

But at the end of the day, I couldn't be mad. E-man had a blast. It was an adventure, it was something other than staying home, watching tv.

He loved riding the train. On the way there, he sat and looked out the window as we passed each little Long Island Town on the way to Hicksville (scam operation headquarters).

He laughed as I ran him in his mini-stroller down the long streets.

While we waited our turn to be scammed, he walked around and entertained all the kids and parents, sharing his toys and snacks, copying the parents when they would point their finger at their kids. He really had me laughing when he told this one kid to say thank you after he gave him a bag of pretzels and when the kid didn't, he rolled his eyes and walked away like, "I just can't even deal with your right now."

He was quite the entertainment in that room.

When we visited with our scam rep, he sat with his elbows on the table and listened with a serious look on his face and then when I said it was time to go, he said ok, got up and walked out.

On the way home, he rested his head on my arm and went to sleep. Then when it was time to get off the train, he got into his stroller without complaining. He was really quite the perfect little child.

I was proud of my little boy and how well he took it all.

I was ready to pitch a fit, but I had to follow his good example.