I Am Not a Criminal, Just an Idiot

This morning I stopped at the grocery store, or "Lunch" as E-man fittingly and straight-to-the-point nic-named the place, on the way to drop him off at school.

At the cash register, I bent down to help him put the lunch in his backpack and realized I'd forgotten to close the zipper of my wallet as my library and museum cards came diving out.

I quickly picked them up, ignored the "shame on you" translated through glares and sighs from the lady behind me in check-out and walked out with all the dignity I could finagle.

After dropping him off, I continued on with a list of errands to run, the first being another, bigger trip to the grocery store.

Once again at checkout, I handed the cashier my credit card and, well, that grocery store must have some problems with frequent bounced transactions or something because this was a first, she asked me for my ID. When I didn't have it, she got the manager.

The manager came and looked at my library card, my museum card, asked my address and made me sign my signature in front of him. It was quite an ordeal and I was pretty glad to be out of there.

On my way home, I started thinking about it and realized hey, why didn't I have my ID? It should have been in my wallet. So I run home, call the grocery store, ask to speak to the manager, get put on hold for too long, hang up and run back to the store. Meanwhile I am imagining that someone stole my ID and there is a fake Anna S already running around. I mean seriously, I live in Jackson Heights, hardly anyone here even speaks English, surely someone here needs an ID to prove their not an illegal immigrant (is that politically correct?). I start thinking of that lady giving me dirty looks in the line behind me and I remember her putting her foot down and now I am sure she saw my ID, covered it up real quick and as soon as I left, she picked it up and became Anna S, a legal citizen of this country.

I run, huffing and sweating back into the grocery store and ask if anyone has found an ID, to which they promptly go and get the same manager that quizzed me on the last trip. He looked at me and said, "Aren't you the one that didn't have ID? Are you Anna?" Boy he was looking at me like I had two heads or was a thieving liar now!

I guess he chose the two heads, because he started to talk me down as he slowly and gently walked me towards the door, no sudden moves. He was looking at me with the most pitiful look when I got down on my hands and knees, looked under the cash register where my wallet had taken a spill two trips earlier and what do you know, there was my ID.

He just looked at me with the most perplexed look on his face, grabbed the thing out of my hand, asked me what my address was, studied the picture, handed it back and stood there with his jaw hanging on the floor while I walked out of there.

Training for the Virginia Beach Marathon

Ahead of schedule, that is what I like to be, because it's one thing to run because you want to, a whole other to run because you have to.

What usually happens is I run for a couple months because I want to, then something or other happens and I stop running, so I sign up for a marathon to get myself running again. But then I look at that training schedule and always, without fail, I want to do anything but what I'm scheduled to do that day.

And one thing after another happens and marathon day is here and I haven't trained for it.

But this time, oh this time is going to be different, I feel it, I know it. I'm scheduled to run the Virginia Beach marathon in March and for one thing I'm doing it in memory of my mother who died of cancer way too young, way before I ever got to realy know her the way a child should know her mother. That alone lit a fire beneath my but from the day I signed up.

But sometimes I get so emotional and serious that I need to take it easy. Those are the days I keep in mind that they will be serving Yuengling beer at the finish line.

Well I am now five weeks into my marathon training and for the first time in my marathon training history, I am not only on schedule, but ahead of schedule.

This morning I decided to combine my speed training run for the week and my long run because at the end of my tempo run I didn't feel like stopping. So instead of doing 3 miles at a 9:40 pace, I did 11 miles at a 9:40 pace.

The emotional side of me says my mother must be with me. The rational side says I better get the training in while it's good.

One of my secrets, I've come to realize I don't need to be on Daily Mile and every other site out there. I'm not competing with anyone but myself. That is why my last run noted on this blog was posted 2 months ago. It's not the last run I did, it's the last run I posted.

I am not saying anything about what one should or should not do, this is just what is currently working for me. Whatever gets you through the run right?

I wish you happiness and health in the upcoming holidays and year to come! Cheers! Running-mom.com

Sometimes Your Kid Needs a Break Too

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For the first three years of E-man's life, I worked from home. It was exhausting. I was always trying to do at least 3 jobs at once and I felt completely unproductive and frustrated.

The first break I had was when I realized I could sign up for a gym with daycare. I learned about that the Christmas before E-man turned 3 and started going there almost every morning. I started getting fit, slowly started getting my sanity back and I started to realize that E-man and I get along much better when we get out of the house every day.

But then I still had work to do and I still felt like I was failing in everything else.

So we signed up for daycare, it started as 3 days a week, then went to 4 days a week, then 5 + gym with daycare on nights and weekends and in our free time, I made it a point to get out of the house as much as possible and go to the museums, the parks, anything that E-man and I could enjoy together.

We went from being home all the time driving each other crazy to getting up in the morning, going out all day and keeping ourselves busy until we came home exhausted and knocked out. Most days we barely even have time or energy for dinner so we just eat a plate of snacks or a salad.

This week I started marathon training and it was the last straw. I was exhausted. The thought of having to get up early on a Saturday to keep my kid busy and happy was just so overwhelming to me I wanted to hide under the covers for the indefinite future.

But hey, when your a mom, your job never stops right? You just suck it up, and get to work. So this morning I got started with the regular routine, putting E-man in his clothes so we could go, "Bye Bye."

Well E-man started crying when I went to put his pants on and said, "Wow Wow Wubzy!?"

I couldn't believe it. My kid didn't want to go out either. He wanted to stay home and have a nice relaxing morning. All this time I've been exhausting myself trying to keep him entertained and he was exhausted too and just wanted a morning off.

He has spent the morning happily posted in front of the TV, watching "Wow Wow Wubzy" and "Thomas the Tank Engine", playing with his new building set, singing, counting, roll playing and acting out his day in school and just having a nice time and I have had a morning to relax.

And now I know...if I am overwhelmed and exhausted, it might be time to stop and take a break, because chances are, my kid needs a break too.

Have I mentioned how humbling and great it is to be this kid's mom!? Now we are off to the gym and the Botanical Gardens Holiday Train Exhibit. :)

Running in the Rain

It is not often that I amaze myself. Most days I feel like it's all I can do to stay above water, figuratively, and on cold, rainy days like this week, literally. That's why moments like the one I experienced yesterday are really something to celebrate.

I was running from E-man's school to the train station to get to work, pushing him in the jogging stroller. It was my fourth run of the day, I was soaked and shivering and it was all just starting to get to me. This is probably the kind of day the school had in mind when they assured me that most parents may start out taking their kids to school, but eventually everyone gives in to the free door-to-door bus service.

But I am determined to set a good example for my son by using the two legs that God gave me to run him to school every day. It's the only way I am forced to consistently get in a minimum of 20 miles a week of running, it keeps me involved at his school and hey, NYC has enough exhaust polluting its air.

Meanwhile, I've been kicking myself for not doing any weight training until I realized today as my coat became heavier and heavier from soaking in the rain, and the wind blew stronger and stronger, this is a great way to get in some resistance training.

And the great thing about all this running is that E-man is really getting into it. Sometime he will jump out of the stroller and start racing me and woah he is fast! I think I need to start taking him to the track.

Here are some more tips for running in the rain: http://www.running-mom.com/running-in-the-rain.html.

View from the Roof Deck

E-man has recently figured out that if he asks nicely for something, I am a sucker and am very unlikely to say no. It is a big and mostly pleasant change from screams and fit throwing that we had grown accustomed to in his first three years.

The first time he asked me for a "hot dog" instead of screaming, pointing, kicking his feet, trying to jump out of the stroller and dive into the concrete when I didn't figure out what he wanted by the 2nd or 3rd or 10th try, I screamed with joy, hugged and congratulated him for using his words and walked around the rest of the day with a smile as big as the Grand Canyon.

Apparently this positive response has encouraged him to use his words constantly and I have to remind myself often that there was a time when this was beginning to seem impossible and I wished and hoped with all my heart for this day.

Now every time we get into the elevator of our building, E-man points at the top floor and asks sweetly, "Roof deck?" And how can I say no? Just look at the view!

This is in the evening when the sun is going down and it was pretty windy.

You can see the Triborough (Robert F. Kennedy) Bridge from here which is about 3 miles away from our apartment and connects Queens, the Bronx and Manhattan. I haven't actually run over this bridge yet, but I love running under it to Astoria Park.

Lone Ranger Race Report

Last Friday, my three-year-old, Elijah, my niece, Aliyah, and I arrived in Philly for a much needed vacation. The plan was for the two of them to hang out while I ran the 24 hour Lone Ranger and then we would all spend the next three days sight seeing.

The minute we got into our hotel, we knew we were going to have a good weekend. We all ran out onto the balcony of our 24th floor room and looked down on Philly. Then we headed over to the most serious packet pick up I’ve been to yet. Usually there are vendors selling marathon gear and cheering aids. Instead this race had EMT's taking our vitals as a precautionary measure in case a paramedic had to pick any of us up off the course.

Next we headed to the famous Rocky Steps to gain energy and empowerment for the race ahead. I didn't realize when I put this on my short, must-do-list, that I would get my fill of these steps while running past them over and over again the next day.

The morning of the race, we set up a tent for E-man and Aliyah to hang out in during the day and me to sleep in if I needed to stop and rest at any point during the race.

The first loop, I started out with a big silly grin on my face thinking, “I’m really doing this!”

I ran those first 8.4 miles nonstop, just taking in the scenery, the famous Rocky steps, the dam, covered bridges, Schuylkill River, people fishing, picnicking and having canoe races. It was a beautiful day for running.

The course was clearly marked with directions from the race crew such as, “Water stop ahead,” and with chalk messages that friends of runners had probably come out and written the night before such as, “You got this Heather!”

One sign pointed out a fountain up a flight of steps and I though to myself, “Hey, my muscles will probably get tired of running this mostly flat course, how about a little stair running to mix it up,” and took off up the steps. Such was my exuberance that first loop.

By the end of this loop, I was already a little tired, but ready to take on another loop.

I ran over to the tent where E-man was sitting and playing in the grass (this was his first camping experience) and came running up with a big smile and a hug when he saw me. But as soon as I left, Aliyah called and said he'd gotten so upset when I left, he cried until he threw up all over the inside of the tent, the sleeping bag and himself. (He does this some times when he gets excited.) So she ended up having to take him back to the hotel and I didn't realize 'till after she left that I'd sent her back with all my money and other things I’d so carefully packed. Still, once I knew they were safe at the hotel, I could fully focus on the run.

The second loop, I did a 5:1 run/walk. At the end I was feeling a little tired, but still pretty good. At the end of this loop, I had run 16.8 miles in 4 hours and when the race volunteers recorded my time, I swear they looked just a little impressed. Or maybe they were wondering how long I was going to be able to keep this up.

Whatever they were thinking, just the act of deciding to go on running a third loop made me feel re-energized and ready to conquer the world, or at least the next 24 hours.

When I signed up for this race back in January, I was maintaining a steady and for me, hardcore, training schedule of about 30 miles a week. I had planned to build from there, but instead ended up going back to work and really I can’t blame that, I just lost the thrill and my race schedule lagged down to about 20 miles a week with an occasional long run of no more than 10 miles. It was so bad, I thought of dropping out of the race, but this race supports what I believe is such a great cause and I had friends who believed in me enough to donate to it (thanks Wendy and Michelle!). Besides, even though I hadn’t trained near enough, about a week before, I really started to get into the spirit of the race. Trained or not, I wanted to see what I could do. After all, the name of this charity is, "Back on my Feet."

So I was amazed and awed every time I put one foot in front of the other and landed still in an upright position.

The third loop, I did a mixture of running, walking, listening to music with my big bulky headphones and got to chat with some of the other runners. I tried to find a groove, but just couldn't seem to find it. I was feeling tired and sore, but still surprised by how good I was feeling. There weren’t a lot of people out this time around. It was around 2pm, the hottest part of the day, so I guess most of the other runners were either way ahead of me, way behind me or smartly taking a rest.

Each time I finished a loop I would stop in this big air conditioned room where some people were napping in between loops, you could take showers and they had tables set up with oranges, sandwiches, bananas, drinks, potato chips and all kinds of other snacks. They also had several refuel stands along the course. The volunteers were just amazing! Apparently putting on this race has been a work in progress (and this year was by far their best yet!).

After the third loop, I decided to change into compression pants because my legs were starting to cramp up.

At this point, I was still thinking I would run until midnight, then maybe take a rest until 6 when the pajama race was scheduled to start. How quickly I went from feeling great (even though I was sore and tired) to loosing every bit of will power I had! It all happened because of a thought.

As soon as I started the fourth loop I hit the wall. Every step I took, I didn't know if my legs would carry me or give out and crumple underneath me. I came into this race thinking that I would go until I either fell over or the 24 hours were up. But now I had a thought that if I beat myself up on the course any more, I would be useless to do any of the things I had brought my kid and niece along to do. This little guy just jumped on my shoulder and said, "If your legs give out, you don't have anyone to carry you out of here. You have to carry your kid out of here," and he never got off.

It took every bit of strength and determination I had to finish that last 8.4 miles and smile and say, "Yeah, I'm ok," when the paramedics started making their regular rounds.

When I finished this loop, the person recording the times said to me, "Why does she look so happy, (some lady walking behind me in a ladybug costume) and you look so miserable? I WAS miserable and I just punked out. Maybe next time I will dress up in a costume, or bring my cheerful niece along to be my running buddy.

I got back to the tent which now had no sleeping bag because E-man had thrown up all over it, so I was laying on the ground with my stiff back and barely any power in my phone and I called my niece and told her to get a cab and come get me.

I went back to the hotel and I went to bed after running for only 9 hrs, 38 minutes and 17 seconds. I slept very sporadically. I kept waking up throughout the night thinking should I go back out there? My eyes were swollen and bloodshot, my head was pounding, my feet were hurting, and each time I told myself it was best to save some energy to take care of and have a good time with my kid instead of going back out there and beating myself up any more on the course.

It was a decision between finding out just how far I could push myself and creating a memorable vacation with my kid.

Each day after the race, I spent some time beating myself up for quitting. But each night, I ran around the Swan fountain down the block from our hotel with E-man. Around and round it we would run, he screaming with laughter and me feeling like I was giving my feet an ice bath and letting the water and the fun wash over me and clear my head of all the doubts and self degradation.

Five days later, I have no regrets. My feet are still a little sore, and when I try to run on them, they feel like too stiff logs that will surely turn into a million splinters if I pound them too hard, but mostly I am amazed by how good I feel and I can’t wait to do it again.

My Lone Ranger Statistics:
1st Loop 1:40:04
2nd Loop 2:20:26
3rd Loop 2:24:55
4th Loop 3:12:52
Total: 33.824 miles in 9:38:17

Whatever Gets You Through A Monday

I have joined the rat race!

After three years of trying to be a multi tasking, work at home mom, I have given up, put E-man in daycare and posted my butt at the office. Which means, I love my days off, I love Fridays...

and Mondays, I am in need of something to get me through the day.

Today, it is this strawberry icecream pie I made last night.


Doesn't that look good!? :-P I hope it is as good as it looks. If it is, I will post the recipe.

Defrosting

Wow, I just realized it's been over a month since I posted anything!

March has been a month of good changes and getting used to those changes.

E-man is now going to daycare three days a week.

He is thriving there. He loves going and I love being able to get my work done and focus on him the rest of the time. But somehow I forgot to schedule my runs during all this.

I've been getting it in when I can, during my lunch breaks at work or when the weather is tolerable and I can push him in the stroller or when I manage to make it to the gym during daycare hours. However this past month, my runs have been way too few and far in between.

This winter has just burrowed it's way into my bones and sucked all the inspiration out of me.

But I'm finally starting to defrost.

Sunday, I got to run 2 miles in the mountains at my friend Tara's house. Running up the mountains was challenging, but the view with the lake, the trees and all the beautiful homes was just glorious. Then I got to run back down the mountain and I felt like I was flying.

Yesterday I ran again. I was in the mood to do some spring cleaning on my day off and E-man was behaving so nicely and letting me actually get something done. But I made myself stop and go to the gym during daycare hours.

At work, my friend and I have made a deal. I chase her out the door for an hour in the morning to go the gym and she chases me out for an hour in the afternoon. It's an improvement from our former habit of ordering hamburgers or grilled cheese for lunch every day.

Oh and speaking of healthy habits, I have lost 28 pounds since last summer, and the weight loss has continued this past month even though I have hardly been running.

At this rate, I just might have a runners body by the summer!

Oh What a Day!

Have you ever gone walking through the mall with your terrible two year old and had a scout walk up to you and ask you if you've ever thought about having him model, and because you were already regretting that $10 toy that will break as soon as you get home, which you were conned into buying him to delay an inevitable temper tantrum, you are struck with a little flattery but mostly the thought that this little rascal should start earning his keep, so you temporarily loose your noggin, forget to ask the most obvious question(s) and sign him up for an "audition"?

I have one word for you. "Don't!" If you need more info, just click here and read some of the consumer reports.

No, I did not pay them any money. I am not THAT naive.

I just spent an entire day trekking my son through 33-43 MPH winds to Long Island, then sitting in a dingy waiting room with about 50 other mall walkers and their kids of every age in a room that smelled like throw-up only to be asked for $1200, then told that I could have a discount and only pay $300 because my kid has the kind of looks that are high in demand.

The lady that gave me the sales pitch, looked like she was probably an applicant on America's Next Top Model 10 years ago and has spent her time since then sniffing coke and has added on a layer of makeup every time she has sniffed for the past 10 years and never taken any of it off.

When I replied that I could not pay any money whatsoever, she apparently gave me the standard reply, that they only do casting once a year, but then said if I needed 6 months to come up with the money, of course they could make an exception for me because what's that, oh yes my kid has looks that are high in demand.

On the way home, I had a moment of extreme anger at myself, at the world, at everything as I stood there in the wind (which you really feel when you're standing in an open place about 4-6 stories off the ground), trying to wrap my coat around my shivering toddler.

But at the end of the day, I couldn't be mad. E-man had a blast. It was an adventure, it was something other than staying home, watching tv.

He loved riding the train. On the way there, he sat and looked out the window as we passed each little Long Island Town on the way to Hicksville (scam operation headquarters).

He laughed as I ran him in his mini-stroller down the long streets.

While we waited our turn to be scammed, he walked around and entertained all the kids and parents, sharing his toys and snacks, copying the parents when they would point their finger at their kids. He really had me laughing when he told this one kid to say thank you after he gave him a bag of pretzels and when the kid didn't, he rolled his eyes and walked away like, "I just can't even deal with your right now."

He was quite the entertainment in that room.

When we visited with our scam rep, he sat with his elbows on the table and listened with a serious look on his face and then when I said it was time to go, he said ok, got up and walked out.

On the way home, he rested his head on my arm and went to sleep. Then when it was time to get off the train, he got into his stroller without complaining. He was really quite the perfect little child.

I was proud of my little boy and how well he took it all.

I was ready to pitch a fit, but I had to follow his good example.

When Wrong is So Right

Sometimes before a run, you do everything right and still have a terrible run. Other times you do everything wrong and have a great run.

Today I did everything wrong. Of all things to eat before a run, I ate two hot dogs dripped in mustard, ketchup and mayonnaise. If my dad knew that's what I put on my hot dog, it would be the last straw, he would disown me.

Anyway, regardless of what I put on my hot dog, (oh did I mention it was stuffed with cheese?) two hot dogs right before the run are just asking for all kinds of stomach problems. I felt sick just thinking about running as I was eating this.

But the minute I stepped foot outside, I just wanted to run.

I had one of the best runs today! It was 50 degrees, I was running in capris and a short-sleeved shirt, it was my first run with E-man in Central Park in months! Oh and I had these hot pink socks on from Road Runner Sports that made me feel like I was running through the clouds!

I kept thinking of the hot dogs during my run and laughing. You see, whenever I have a really great run, I always go back and analyze everything I did to try to figure out what made it so good so I can do it again.

One time I ate lentil soup the night before a long run and I had a great run. I thought lentil soup sounded really healthy and that must have been why it was so good. So I started eating lentil soup before my runs. But I didn't seem to be able to recreate that great run I had the first time I ate the lentil soup.

So today I decided this, sometimes it doesn't mater what you do or don't do. Some runs are just better than others, and analyzing it will only take away from it. So I'm done analyzing. It was a great run and I am happy with that!

Ode to Spring

Dear Spring,

How long will you stay away?

Yesterday I thought I heard you coming in the sound of birds chirping, but nope, it turned out it was just the creaking of my door hinge.

Then I thought I heard you coming in the smell of dirt ready to be planted with flowers and vegetables, but nope, it was the smell of yet another blizzard.

I wanted to put my son in the jogging stroller and hang out in the park, but your warmth neglected us and instead the cold winds of winter blew us back inside.

I am aching from the lack of Vitamin D that your sun provides.

I am tired of looking at these four lime green walls and of being climbed on by my toddler. I need the green of your grass for my son to run free in.

I am sick of looking for short-term replacements of your vigor in doses of fattening chocolate.

I venture out in search of you, but I am rewarded by nothing but colds and coughs.

I am weary from trying to stay strong in your absence.

Come Spring, free us with your warmth and sunshine before I go insane under the heavy ice of these cold, dark days of winter.

Love,
One of Your Many Fans

My New Training Schedule

I love my new training schedule!

I had to cancel the Key West 50 mile ultra this May due to financial and time restraints. Would you believe, these wonderful people gave me all my money back and said they hoped to see me there next year, and that is what I am hoping for too.

Now I'm focusing on the 24 hour Lone Ranger in July.

The Lone Ranger feels like the perfect ultra for me this year. Some of the reasons I am so excited about this race are:

1) It’s much closer in location, so won’t cost as much to get there.

2) One of my best running buddies in the whole wide world is planning on coming to this event, and I have a feeling I will be able to talk a few more of my best running buddies into coming.

3) You run around this beautiful 8 mile loop in Philly as many times as you feel like and are able to in 24 hours and when you’re not running, you are camping out under the stars with a bunch of other runners.


4) I know what to expect. I got to pace for my friend Tara last year when she ran this race, so I have an idea of what to expect.

5) Something about running for 24 hours, even though that is much longer than the average 9-11 hours it would take to run 50 miles, sounds like less to commit to than running 50 miles.

I don’t know if it’s that I’m learning I would much prefer distance than speed, so the longer the distance, it always sounds more attractive than running at a certain speed, or if it’s that I have two more months to train for it, or what.

What I do know is that when I wrote out my training schedule, I was even more excited about running this race. This is my kind of training schedule.

Instead of saying what I will do in mileage every day for the next 162 days, I have planned my weekly mileage from now ‘till the race. How I get that weekly mileage in is up to me, I just have two rules that I’m following.

I won’t increase my overall weekly mileage by more than 10% from one week to the next and my longest run will not exceed 50% of my mileage for that week.

In addition, I have given myself a basic template for the week. Monday is hill training. Tuesday is recovery day with an easy run and some cross training. Wednesday is speed training. Thursday is a rest day. Friday and Saturday are long runs. Sunday is another recovery day of easy running and cross training.

It will be up to me to decide how long each of these runs are, as long as I complete my mileage for the week, so the more I get done early in the week, the less I am forced to do later on in the week.

I started this week with 30 miles and my longest mileage week is 85 miles, followed by a three week taper before the 24 hour race.

So far I am learning that I have to have a lot of discipline, maybe even more so than if I had every day spelled out ahead of time, to get my mileage in. I have always been a big last minute crammer, so I am trying not to do that now.

Next week I will have to make more of an effort to get out the door when daycare hours are open at the gym so I don't have to cut my runs short.

But so far I am very happy with my new training schedule.

Running is the Great Equalizer

This morning during my run, I was thinking that running is the great equalizer. That is until I looked up the word and realized it does not mean to make all things equal.


Since we've all been shot down in the shins, knees, feet, hips or some other place by running, I think this word is still appropriate.

But back to my earlier thought this morning, running is one of the things that makes everyone equal in the following ways:

1) Some runners such as myself were not good at sports as a kid, but then along came running and behold, we are athletes.

2) You get a group of runners in a room and you might have people from all walks of life or rungs of whatever ladder you're on, but in a room full of runners, your only title is you're a runner.

3) Running pretty much gives back whatever you put into it. Sure there are those that have the "runners body," but that doesn't mean you can't become a runner. If you want to be a casual runner, a long distance runner, a sprinter, any kind of runner that you want to be, all you have to do is work at it and you'll get there.

4) The flip side of that is, running will beat you down if you don't treat it right whether you're a casual runner or a professional. In that sense, yes running can be a great equalizer.

5) When I'm running, I can be entertained and motivated by just about anything. This morning, my iPod kept me going with a variety of songs from the Christmas Carol, "Joy to the World," to a Gospel song called, "Days of Elijah" sent to me by my family to "My Hump," by the Black Eyed Peas. All of these songs made me want to run my hump off with joy in my heart.

At one point during my run in the gym this morning, I stopped myself from exuberantly lifting my hands into the air, just in time to look in front of me and see another guy doing just that.

You see, this is further proof that running makes us all equally and wonderfully crazy.

Why it Pays to Set a Good Example for Your Kids

This morning I was laying in bed with a case of the winter blues and extreme fatigue from fighting snow all week, fully resigned to sit this day out when in walks E-man with a set of weights for me, a set of golf balls for himself and the Jillian Michaels 30 Day Shred DVD.


Here is my little super hero, showing off his latest Lego project.

I Am Not An Angry New Yorker

Some days I stop for a moment to will my clenched jaw into a smile, slow my maniacal pace and think, "What ever happened to that 'nice' person I used to be? Why am I always so angry?"

Such is the state of mind this morning as I will myself to be a calmer, happier person. I planned an entire afternoon off where I would run a few errands and then take E-man to an indoor playground where he would slide, roll, bounce and play in the company of other friendly kids, making the 3 boroughs and 4 train rides we would maneuver to get there totally worth it.


I awake to yet another snow storm which weather.com has eerily predicted as a "Wintry Mix" and think, "Why again did I pick today of all days to gallivant this city with my two-year-old?"

Only a couple hours later, question still unanswered, but lunch, toys, change of clothes for E-man and jogging stroller weather shield in place, we make it out the door and are greeted by the quiet, glistening white of a February snowstorm that has scared all but the gallant indoors.

On such days, it is almost possible to feel like a VIP. The sidewalks are empty enough that one does not have to make the choice of walking over mountains of garbage on one side or frozen dog excrement on the other in order to squeeze past a slower pedestrian. There are few enough cars on the road that brown slush is not sprayed into your face as you cross the street. Even the subway elevators are empty.

That last thing was a big hint that it may have been best to stay indoors.

First on our list is visiting the doctor's office to pick up E-man's records, thus skipping weeks of bureaucratical waiting for records to be mailed from one doctor to the next. E-man survives these three train rides with snacks, books, his jogging stroller version of peekaboo and my assurances that after this we are going somewhere really fun!

We get off the train, and forgetting my zen state of earlier, I automatically resume a maniacal forward momentum right into a lake of freezing brown slush. (An extra outfit for myself would come in handy right about now.) But I figure, "Ah, it won't kill me," and keep on going. Such is my positive state of mind.

Two hours, an annoying but ultimately successful conversation with a receptionist, a slightly grumpier child, a couple train rides and a few more walks through slush later, we arrive at the indoor playground that is to be our haven for the day, the one that I called ahead of time to make sure was open, and we are greeted by a lady who I think is opening the door for us. But no, she is there to tell us that the place is closed 'till 4 (it is 3 now).

Only an hour you say? Ah yes, but only an hour to a grumpy toddler and his mother who has waded through hours and lakes of Antarctic temperatures the color of I don't think I want to know what I just stepped in to get there.

Then we have a look at the place. It is a small room with some toys on the floor...not quite the indoor playground I had anticipated. Still E-man is banging on the door, trying to open it. He obviously sees something in there he is excited about.

So we wait the hour.

E-man is pretty nice while we wait. Other kids show up to wait. He is hugging them very gently. It is nice to know that when I explained to him that it's very sweet of him to hug somebody but he has to be gentle about it so he doesn't scare them off, he actually understood this.

Finally the door opens.

But by then E-man is so tired that words like, "Share" fall on deaf ears and I end up putting back on my wet sneakers and carrying a kicking screaming kid out of there, only to shove my way through two hours of rush hour trains full of people who have been heaped with all kind of unfairness having to go to work on a day like today.

So much for positive thinking.

Wake up call, "You're a Mom Now"

OK, now that I'm saying this out loud, it sounds terrible, but I've kind of thought of having one kid as being the trial period...and when I have two kids, that's when I'm a real mom, like a my life is over, I will do nothing but be a great mom until the kids graduate college and then I'll have a grand mini vacation until they have me some grandkids and call me up to raise them.

And having tasted what being a mom is like during the "trial period," I've been living and running like I better get it in while I still have the chance!

So this year I planned my first 50 mile ultra, 24 hour ultra, 24 hr relay, under 4:30 marathon and a bunch of mini races to qualify for the NYC marathon the following year. Oh and to top it off, a goofy challenge of half a marathon one day and a marathon the next day a year from now.

I figured then I'd be all run out for a while and ready to take a break and have some kids. Oh see there I go saying it again, forgot to say more kids!

Then in between the break of mom and grandma, I'd do that marathon maniac thing, maybe a 100 mile ultra or two and fulfill my life-long dream of becoming an Ironman. Oh and then there's the 7 continents, 50 states and running-mom/Forest-Gump thing I want to do.

Well, I had a wake up call from all that race planning when I started looking into preschool this week.

Wow is it expensive to pay for 30 hours of sanity / wk! I'm talking don't-do-another race-'till-the-GREAT-grand-kids-grow-up, eat-peanut-butter-and-jelly-sandwiches-21-times-per-wk OR win-the-lottery-kind-of-expensive!

How does one do it...I do not know!

But one thing I have learned this week, is that I'm a mommy now...yup that one kid does make me a mom, even if he doesn't hear his siblings calling me mommy and so still calls me, "Hey!"...and it's time to find some balance between taking good care of my kid, and the many dollars it apparently costs to do that if you're not good at doing it all by yourself, and having some kind of life.

So I will still be running, and I will try to train for this ultra whenever I can find the time and hope that I come up with the money to travel to Key West, but meanwhile I will know that while running in and of itself is a priority, being a good mother definitely takes precedent over exotic races that win me bragging rights.

They'll be time for that...some day...

Ah, Sweet Dreams!

Yesterday for Martin Luther King Jr. Day, my online running mom group organized a one-mile challenge.

The idea was to run a mile (both the fastest and slowest runners win, oh yeah that's why I love this group!) and we each had to come up with our own dream and team name.

I had a lot of time to come up with this the night before when I was not sleeping. My dream was that E-man would let me sleep so I could dream. My team name was sweet dreams.

Well guess what?

Last night, my dream was a reality. E-man went to bed at the super early time of 12:00 midnight. And that's not even the best part. I had tried to put him to bed at 10, he laid down for about 10 seconds and then jumped out of the bed and ran back into his playroom. After the previously night where he did go to bed on time, but then was up at 3, 4, 5, 6 and finally 7, I was in no mood to fight him. So I just let him play.

Well at midnight (nope I'm not joking, this is a good 2 hours before his normal bedtime), he came and put his head in my lap. I said, "Are you ready to go night night, E-man?" and he said, "YES!"

So I brought him to bed, shut off all the lights, he cuddled up next to me and went straight to sleep. He is still sleeping now and I managed to get five whole hours of sleep and two hours of work done so far today! Oh I am so happy!

As for the running challenge, I love this group of running moms. They are always inspiring me to do things that I would not normally do. Yes, crazy things sometimes, but mostly really great things. For example, yesterday I did 3 one-mile repeats. Which means you warm up, then run for a mile as fast as you can, then recover a mile, then repeat for a total of seven miles.

When I was training for my 10k last year, I could barely bring myself to do quarter mile repeats at 8:45 pace. I think one day after plenty of sleep and with some really good music, I got in one half mile repeat at that pace. But yesterday, I did a whole mile 3 times at that pace!

Shave five more seconds off, hold that pace for 26.2 miles nonstop, hope that Boston doesn't change their qualifying times and Boston, here I come!

This is a picture of the tent I bought for E-man. He doesn't seem to like sleeping in it, although he LOVES to play in it.

I, however, have snuck a few hours of sleep in here by crawling in and closing the zipper when no one was looking. I guess E-man just figured I was gone since I wasn't in any of the places he usually finds me (not many other places to hide in this one-bedroom apartment) and so he bothered his daddy for a change. I highly recommend a tent for this purpose.

Today has been OK

I often think of this song at the end of a day.

It makes me think of my mom. I'm sure it makes anyone think of someone they have loved and lost.

I especially like the line that says, "No one's gone in vain...life has been insane but today has been ok."

Somehow I find it comforting that life is insane for all of us, and that we can all only count on the same small things, like that today will be OK.

Even though I did not get to know my mom so well because I was only eight when she died, she is with me all the time. I feel like I get to know her better, being a mom.

I think of her and wonder what she would do in a situation I'm in or even talk it out with her. Sometimes an interaction between me and E-man reminds me of my mom and me.

Lately, I have had a real struggle getting E-man to sleep at a decent hour. He tends to go to sleep around 2am on average and get up around 10 or 11. I've let it get to this, knowing I need to do something about it, but either feeling too tired to get up and wake him up early so he'll go to bed early, or looking at him all sleepy and sweet looking and think, "Great, I can finally get something done."

Well last night I decided that no matter what time he went to bed, today was going to be the day that I made an effort towards putting him on a schedule. I would start by waking him up at 9am.

As usual, he did not go to sleep last night 'till about 2:30 am. But this morning, I stuck to my guns, went in there and said, "E-man, it's time to wake up."

Usually he wakes up on his own, runs into my arms, cuddles for about 10 minutes and then eats some breakfast. This morning he was laying on the couch all groggy, trying to go back to sleep, and I was sitting next to him.

I finally got him to sit up. So he's sitting there, rubbing his eyes and I'm sitting there looking at him, willing myself to get through the day and thinking how cute he looks rubbing his eyes. My little guy is growing up so fast.

These are the thoughts that are going through my head and then I remember a picture of my mom and me. She is sitting on the couch next to me looking at me and I am rubbing my eyes. For the longest time, I thought that my mom looked very angry in that picture. That was until I became a mom.

Now I think that my mom is either thinking, "What do I do with you?" as I often say to E-man or she is just really tired from being a mom and it is showing in her face. She looks like a mother, thinking motherly thoughts. And now I am the mother in the picture.

Forget running, mommy needs some sleep!

For the past few days I have been so depressed. Nothing that I could put my finger on, like oh this is depressing me, if I could change it, I would no longer be depressed. I guess that's what depression is like, if you could put your finger on it, it wouldn't be depression.

I have just had a general feeling of no motivation, nothing to look forward to, can't do anything right, could barely bring myself to run yesterday, could barely get any work done, just a general hopelessness.

But no more of that today. I am back to my old self, feeling happy, motivated and full of ideas on how to make myself, my family, my home and the world a better place.

So what changed? Sleep, I tell you, sleep! The problem is that my child has some issue with going to sleep at night. Actually, scratch that, he doesn't have an issue with it, he just doesn't do it. I am the one with the issue, with him keeping me up 'till 2, sometimes 3am and then I have to get up at 5am to get my running and work done.

But last night I put some new satin sheets on the bed (this was my first time ever to try these and they were a big hit!), cuddled up inside of them and said, "I'm taking the morning off." It was still a little annoying that my son kept coming and getting me all hours of the night, but at least I knew that once he did fall asleep, I too would be able to fall asleep and not worry about having to wake up in two or three hours.

Now I am feeling great. Only one problem. Do I have to make a choice between being a happy person that never gets anything done or a depressed be-atch, but with many accomplishments?

Perfect Running Week

This was one epic week where running and I made up, remembering what we love about each other.

For the past few weeks, I was feeling a little burned out. That's how I'm describing it now, anyway.

When the fight was at it's climax, running and I were pretty pissed with each other and I was even a little worried we might have to break up.

We had accomplished something together that we worked hard for, exceeding our goals. After some vigorous training, I ran a 10k in 58:31 on December 5th. That was a whole minute faster than my goal and it was a PR by several minutes.

Right on schedule, I was left feeling tired and bummed out, wondering if all that hard work was worth it.

Running seemed to feel the same way about me. We were no longer enjoying each others company and we were hurting each other in unnecessary ways.

So we did what any non-martyr would do, we took a break from each other.

But now, after two weeks of bs'ng and a full week of not running at all, I decided it was time we make up before we had to start all over again.

I went to the gym on Tuesday and had a nice easy run. We made a treaty. I wouldn't push it too hard and running wouldn't injure me.

The next day I took off and just did some cross training. Thursday I ran for 101 minutes...whatever I could do in that time. It ended up being a good 9+ mile run. Friday I ran just long enough to complete my goal of 20 miles for the week.

Come Saturday I had already completed my goal mileage for the week. But I just couldn't not run.

First of all, it was New Years Day, and I had to start the year off right. Second, it was the first day of a challenge in my running mom group, and I can't back down from a challenge. And finally, the kid was driving me crazy and the kid's dad was offering to occupy him for the day, so it was paramount for the sake of all our sanity and well being that I go for a run.

I ended up doing a 12 mile hard run, the longest run I've done in months and 12 miles more than I planned to run this week.

There's just something about running more mileage than you plan to in a week. Something just clicks. Today is my day off and I want to run.

This is very different than the way I usually feel on my day off. Usually when I barely make my weekly mileage, by my day off all I can think is "Only one day off?" My body usually feels like it's begging for a longer break.

So I'm left thinking this. Maybe I completely mis-understood the dispute between running and I. I thought running was mad at me for taking it too hard, too far. But no, I think it was the other way around. Running wanted more from me.

Or maybe it was just a good week.

Whatever it is, I love running this week and running loves me! Now that is a good feeling.